G Gundam Hysteria II
by The Four Random Ones
Summary: A series-length spoof of G Gundam by two parody writers, a Schwarz Bruder fanatic, and a Gundam expert. What chaos will ensue?
1. Prologue: Ulube is Pulverized

G Gundam Hysteria II

By SC-0612, Shadowlord, Ronin, & Sage

Prologue: The Gundam that Tripped and Fell to Earth

Disclaimer: SC: None of the four of us own G Gundam.

Ronin: Although Sage dreams of buying it from Sunrise.

Sage: *sighs* Yeah...

Shadowlord: You're really strange, Sage.

~*~*~*~

Neo-Japan Space Colony:

*a group of Neo-Japanese Busshi MS, led by a Gun Magna MS, circle around a newly formed crater.*

Ulube: Listen up, boys! We need to take him out as soon as he sticks that ugly gundam head of his out of that hole, okay? Don't waste this opportunity, guys. Hello? Do you read me? Private Kodansha? Private! Do you copy?!

*Inside Private Kodansha's Busshi*

Kodansha: Zzz...

Ulube: Private!!!

Kodansha: ...? *wakes up* Major Ulube! What is it, sir?

*shots fire out from the crater at the surrounding MS*

Ulube: Oh, never mind...just go beat the living daylights out of the Beast...

*A loud roar issues forth from the crater as the Dark Gundam arises*

Kodansha: Eep! *flees* Mommy!

Ulube: *sighs* Why do I always get the pathetic ones? *dodges a shot from the Dark Gundam* Damn! *chases after Kodansha* Wait for me! *stumbles and falls* Ow...

*The Dark Gundam climbs out of the crater. It struggles to its feet and turns to leave.*

Ulube: Uh oh...

Dark Gundam: *trips over Gun Magna* Rrrrlll!!!

Ulube: Owie...

*The Dark Gundam leaps into the air and flies off in the general direction of the Earth.*

Ulube: Oh, the pain...

~*~*~*~

A/N: Shadowlord: More to come, rabid fans!

Sage: Hn...immodest little twit. 

Shadowlord: Well...you're an...an immodester little twit!

Ronin: Be nice, you two.

SC-0612: Yes, listen to Ronin and be polite.


	2. Episode 1, pt 1: Domon Meets the Idiots

**G Gundam Hysteria II**

By Shadowlord, SC-0612, Sage, and Ronin****

****

**Disclaimer – SC-0612: We don't own G Gundam. We've been through this many, many times before. ****Sunrise**** owns G Gundam. Do we look like ****Sunrise**** to you? Although Shadowlord owns the Mysterious Man, who is in fact a made-up character.**

**A/N - Sage: Hold on to your socks, folks.**** This is one long episode parody, so we've broken it up for your convenience...and there is a guest appearance of the Mysterious Man in this story, and Shadowlord tells me he'll be the main character of a story she's working on, so go ahead and look forward to that.**

**In response to reviews:**

**Shuffle Queen - Ronin: Well...we wrote more...quite a bit more, actually...**

**Turtle Lover - Shadowlord: *grins evilly* Oh, Ulube will get hurt much, much worse...as will Wong, and Allenby, and Dr. Mikamura, and...*begins randomly naming even more characters she can't stand***

**---**

**Episode One: Domon's Encounter with the Idiot Italian Inspector**

**Part One**

**---**

Rome, Neo Italy, approximately one year later:

*Two police officers drive towards the site of a meteorite crash*

Inspector Belchino: Any word from Headquarters?

Officer Mezzina: Not yet, sir. Should I call and request information?

Belchino: Nah, don't bother.

*They pull up in front of a large crater, in the center of which is a large, bud-shaped pod*

Mezzina: What on Earth is THAT?!

Belchino: Uh...

*A mysterious man whispers into Belchino's ear*

Mysterious Man: It's a gundam carrier, you idiot!

Belchino: Hey, Mezzina, I bet it's a gundam carrier...

Mezzina: Wow, Inspector, I bet you're right for once! What gave you the idea it was a carrier?

Belchino: *looks around innocently* I really don't know...my vast intelligence, I suppose...

Mysterious Man: Hmph...no gratitude...

Mezzina: Man, it came down right in the middle of the Spanish Steps!

Belchino: Aw...I met my wife there...*gets teary-eyed* Sophia: many memories...*sighs*

Mezzina: Inspector...you're embarrassing yourself...

Belchino: *sniffles* Ahem...where was I?

Mezzina: The pod...

Belchino: Ah, yes. Well, Mezzina-

*Three thugs come running up*

Cameron: Get outta our way, dudes!

Belchino: Eek! *hides behind Mezzina* Don't hurt me!

Mezzina: Inspector...

Lete: Man, what is THAT?!

Anore: I dunno...let's check it out!

Mezzina: Hey, you can't go there!

Cameron: Sure we can!

Mezzina: No, you can't!

Lete: We work for Michelo Chariot, and he said we could! *sticks out his tongue* Nyah!

Mezzina: He's even more immature than you, Inspector...

Belchino: Yeah...hey!

Anore: Hey, Lete! Whaddya think we should do with this?

Lete: *shrugs* I dunno...let's tell Boss about it. *runs off, with Anore following*

Cameron: Yeah! *waves at Mezzina and Belchino* Later, dudes! *chases after Lete and Anore*

Belchino: *waves* Bye!

Mezzina: You're such an idiot sometimes, Inspector...

---

Later, at a small bar:

*Three kids harass a brooding man sitting by himself*

Boy: Hey, wanna buy some computer chips?

Domon: No...

Chubby Boy: What about some gum?

Domon: No...

Sophia: Buy some pretty flowers!

Domon: No...

*Cameron, Anore, and Lete enter*

Lete: Howdy, folks!

Boy: Eek! *hides*

Lete: *drags boy out from under a table* There you are, you little squirt! Where's my money-YEOW!!! *is thrown across the room by Domon's punch* Ow...

Domon: It's not polite to take money from little kids. Even if they are amazingly annoying.

Lete: Why, you little... *charges Domon* I'll get you!!

Domon: Hold on a second, okay?

Lete: *stops* Huh?

Domon: *searching his pockets* Just a moment...where is that stupid thing? *pulls out a photograph* Aha! *holds the picture up in front of Lete* Do you know this man?

Lete: *studies picture* Hm...that guy kinda looks like my uncle Herman...Cameron, what do you think?

Cameron: Your uncle's taller...and he has a bigger chin...

Anore: He's right...besides, isn't your uncle dead?

Lete: Oh, yeah...I forgot about that...*shrugs* Nope, don't know him...where was I?

Domon: You were charging madly towards me screaming "I'll get you!" at the top of your lungs.

Lete: Oh, yeah...*charges Domon* I'll get you!

---

Outside:

*An elderly couple walk by, watching some children play in the pond in front of the bar. Crickets are chirping, a young child is laughing...*

Lete: *crashes through a window* Aiee! *lands in pond* Ouchies...

*Cameron flies out a window, landing on Lete*

Cameron: Man, Lete, thanks for breaking my fall, dude.

Lete: *moans* Aaah...

*Anore flies out the window, landing on Cameron and Lete*

Anore: Aiee...oomph.

Cameron: Ow...I hurt...

Lete: I hurt more! Hmph...no one broke MY fall!

*Domon comes outside*

Domon: Hey-

Lete: Aah! It's him! Run for your lives!

Belchino: Hold it! You are all...*glances down at a stack of notecards in his hands*...under...arrest...You are all under arrest! *turns to Mezzina* How was that?

Mezzina: Very good!

Belchino: *beaming*

Domon: ...

Belchino: Hey, don't look at me like that. I know what I'm doing!

Domon: ...

Belchino: Well...Mezzina knows what I'm doing!

Domon: ...

Belchino: What?

Domon: *shrugs* Whatever.

Belchino: Well...you're under arrest!

Domon: You already said that.

Belchino: You're still under arrest! Now, all of you, come with me!

---

Later, at the police station/jailhouse:

Mezzina: Hey, Inspector, there's a lady here to see you.

Belchino: To see ME?! But...what do I DO?!

Mezzina: Calm down, Inspector. First, don't do anything stupid. Second, don't say anything you don't absolutely need to.

Belchino: But...

Mezzina: Just nod and say "uh-huh" to anything she says and you'll be fine, okay? I'll send her in now.

Belchino: But...

Rain Mikamura: Hello. You must be Inspector Belchino. I am Rain Mikamura, and I am a representative of the Neo Japanese government, and a member of our gundam support team. I believe you have our gundam fighter?

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: You do? Good! Could you do me a favor and let him out? We're very busy...

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: Good! Thank you very much.

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: ...Right. Sophia:, where is Domon?

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...

Rain: ... *smiles hesitantly* Eh...could you go get him for me?

Belchino: *nods* Uh-huh...*exits room*  
  


Rain: Right...he's a few vulcan guns short of a gundam...

---

Interrogation Room:

Mezzina: C'mon, tell us where your gundam is. We'll give you a pizza!

Domon: Hm...what type?

Mezzina: Pepperoni?

Domon: No! I'm allergic to pepperoni!

Belchino: *enters* Hey, uh...you, there's some lady here to get you out. 

Rain: Didya miss me, Domon?

Domon: No, not really...I can go?

Mezzina: He can go?

Belchino: Yep.

Mezzina: But...but...

Belchino: See? I told you I knew what I was doing.

Mezzina: But...but...

Belchino: So go already!

Domon: Uh...yeah. Okay...*leaves*

Mezzina: But...but that pod destroyed the Spanish Steps! Sophia: many memories, remember?

Belchino: Aiee! You're right! *chases after Domon* Come back here, you!

---


	3. Episode 1, pt 2: The Mysterious Man Yell...

**G Gundam Hysteria II**

****

By Shadowlord, SC-0612, Sage, and Ronin

-

**Disclaimer – Ronin: As previously stated, we do not own G Gundam. If we did, the series wouldn't have included Mikamura. Well...it would've, but he would have been fed to rabid tigers moments after appearing. So...eh...right. ****Sunrise**** owns G Gundam. Not us. Got it? Good. Shadowlord has claimed the Mysterious Man as her creation, though, and she would most likely get very mad to see him in some other fanfiction. And Shadowlord is frightening when she's mad, remember?**

**A/N – Shadowlord: *stares at disclaimer* I am not frightening when I'm mad...I'm terrifying. There's a difference. Anyway...the second part of the first episode has now arrived, courtesy of the scrap of newspaper it was written on. Yeah, I know, it took a while, and I apologize. But trust me, the wait was worth it. Anyway, I noticed a typo in the last chapter, when Rain's talking to the inspector. That's supposed to be "So...", not Sophia. Sage typed that part. He's afraid of using the spellchecker.**

**In response to reviews:**

****

**Turtle Lover – Sage: Yeah...this was a good chapter...but I'm looking forwards to "Roar of the Winning Punch." Chibodee is just so easy to make fun of. Hmph. I'm not afraid of using the spellchecker...**

**Shuffle Queen – SC-0612: Funny...we were trying to make Belchino OOC. Hm...*shrugs* Whatever. Now Domon, on the other hand...what do you mean by "seemed"? There is no "seemed". Domon is always dense. **

**                           Shadowlord: "Wonderful adventure"? Okay, you I like.**

**---**

****

**Episode One: Domon's Encounter with the Idiot Italian Inspector**

****

****

**Part Two**

****

**---**

Later, outside:

Boy: Hey, mister!

Chubby Boy: Yeah, mister, wait up!

Rain: Domon...

Domon: Walk quickly, Rain, and don't look back.

Rain: But...

Domon: And don't encourage them.

Sophia: Mister, wait up! We wanna give you some bread! To thank you!

Domon: *stops* FOOD!

Rain: Gee...I wonder if Domon is hungry...

Chubby Boy: So, anyway...we were wondering...

Domon: *devouring the bread* Mn-hrnm?

Rain: Domon, you're going to choke.

Domon: *shakes head* Nrm-nh! Mrm nrh-*chokes* Mrmph!

Boy: We were wondering if you wanted us to walk you to your hotel.

Rain: Domon, do you need help?!

Domon: *gasps* Ye-yes!

Belchino: You do? Great! This'll be so much fun!

Domon: *coughs* WHAT?! Rain, how could you let me say that?!

Rain: But...

Sophia: C'mon, mister! *grabs Domon's hand and drags him forward*

Domon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

---

At the hotel:

Domon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Rain: Where is everyone?

Chubby Boy: They must have been evacuated...c'mon, mister!

Domon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*As they all enter the foyer, the ground shakes and a black gundam breaks down the wall opposite them.*

Michelo Chariot: Muahahahahahahaha!!! Like my Neros Gundam, Domon Kasshu? It'll pulverize you!

Domon: Are you challenging me to a Gundam Fight?

Michelo: Well...no, not really...

Domon: Aw...you're no fun...

Michelo: Oh well! *grabs Sophia* Muahahahahahahaha!

Domon: Evil laughter doesn't really suit you, Michelo.

Michelo: You don't think so? Okay, how about "Heeheeheeheehee!" Better?

Domon: I suppose. What about "Hahahahahahahah!"?

Michelo: Hm...hahahahahahahah...not bad...hahahahahahahahahahahah...I like it...

Rain: Domon! He's got Sophia!

Domon: Really! Michelo! Wait! Take the rest of them! PLEASE!!!

Rain: Domon!

Domon: *sighs* Okay...Oh, Michelo, how could you take a young child as a hostage? Whatever will I do?

Mysterious Man: *climbs out of a potted plant* You'll challenge him to a Gundam Fight, of course.

Domon: I'll challenge Michelo to a Gundam Fight!

Mysterious Man: This is getting really annoying...ungrateful little-

Domon: Michelo Chariot, I challenge you to a Gundam Fight! RISE, SHINING GUNDAM!!!

*The Shining Gundam blasts out of the fountain out front as Belchino and Mezzina run up*

Mezzina: Hey, no swimming!

Belchino: You're not allowed to swim there?

Mezzina: No, of course not!

Belchino: Eh...*coughs* Oops...now what am I supposed to do every Friday?

Mezzina: You could get a social life.

Belchino: I guess...do you think that pretty Neo-Japanese lady would go out with me.

Mezzina: No, I don't think she would.

Belchino: ...

Domon: Are you two finished yet?!

Belchino: Uh...yeah, I guess. Hey, Ms. Mikamura-

Rain: Um...no.

Belchino: But-

Rain: No.

Belchino: Why-

Rain: Just no.

Belchino: ...

Domon: ... *activates the Mobile Trace System*

Michelo: Aw...this'll take forever...

Much, much later:

Domon: Done! Gundam Fight, ready? ...ahem. Gundam Fight, ready?! MICHELO!

Michelo: Zzz...*wakes up* Oh, good! You're done with the twirling and the punching and the steaming! Now we can fight!

Lete: Yeah, get'm, Boss!

Mysterious Man: Where'd you come from?

Lete: Where'd YOU come from?

Mysterious Man: ...you're not allowed to ask me that.

Lete: Why not?

Mysterious Man: Because you're just not. That's why I'm the "mysterious man". "Mysterious". Therefore, I can't tell you where I came from. It's in the job description.

Lete: Ah.

Domon: Gundam Fight, ready?

Michelo: GO!!!

Neo-Holland Space Colony:

*A young boy watches the planet Earth out a window as energy beams activate, symbolically caging in all gundam fighters as the 13th Gundam Fight begins*

Young Boy: Ooh...pretty colors...hey, I can see our gundam from here. Wow...it really does look like an outhouse.

Back in Rome:

*Neros Gundam slams into Shining Gundam, throwing it into a building*

Michelo: You can't win, Domon Kasshu! *kneels* SILVER FEET!!!

Domon: Silver feet? What kind of name is-

*The Shining Gundam is knocked through the building as Neros Gundam fires from cannons hidden in its shin*  
  


Domon: Ow...

Mysterious Man: Stop messing around! Use the Shining Finger!

Rain: Who are you?

Mysterious Man: Eh...*hides*

Lete: Yeah! Get'm, Boss! I'll watch the girl. You can count on good old Lete to-

Belchino: DIE!!! *tackles Lete*

Chubby Boy: *hugs Sophia* Mister! My sister is safe!

Domon: She is? *groans* That's just not FAIR!

Mysterious Man: *climbs out of a nearby garbage can* Shining Finger! Now!

Domon: Huh? Oh, okay...Sheesh, you stink.

Mysterious Man: *picks a banana peel off his shoulder* Right.

Rain: Hey, it's you again!

Mysterious Man: Eep! *dives back into garbage can* She'll never find me here...

Domon: This hand of mine glows with an awesome power! Its burning grip tells me to defeat you!

Mysterious Man: Do you HAVE to do that?

Domon: Yes. Yes I do. Where was I?

Mysterious Man: ...

Domon: Oh yeah! *grabs Neros Gundam's head* SHINING FINGER!!!

Michelo: *asleep again* Zzz...*wakes up* Eh? What's going on?

Domon: Michelo, you are bound by Article 1 of the Gundam Fight International Regulations: "A gundam whose head unit has been destroyed is disqualified!"

*Neros Gundam's head explodes*

Belchino: Fun! Can we arrest him now?

Mezzina: Yeah...sure...

Belchino: HaHA! *chases Michelo* Get over here, Chariot!

Mysterious Man: *walks up to Domon, who has climbed out of his gundam* I suggest you leave before he arrests you again.

Domon: Yeah, that's probably a good idea...*waves* Bye, Inspector Belchino!

Mysterious Man: You're missing the point...

Belchino: Come back here, you! You're under arrest! Again!

Domon: Uh...

Rain: Run, Domon, run for your life.

Domon: *shrugs* Sure...

*Belchino and Domon end the episode happily chasing each other around. Until the Mysterious Man throws them in a pair of garbage cans.*


	4. Episode 2, pt 1: Jingle Bells, Domon Sme...

**G Gundam Hysteria II**

---

By Shadowlord, SC-0612, Ronin, and Sage

---

**Disclaimer- Shadowlord: We don't own G Gundam or any of the characters. We never have, and we never will, unless ****Sunrise**** reconsiders my offer to buy Kyoji and Schwarz for a bag of mixed nuts and an ice cream cone.**

**In response to reviews:**

**Koto * Juri: SC-0612: Uh-huh. I hate to say it, but I'm not really a fan of Sai Saici the Rat-fearing Chef, so he's gonna get teased with the rest of them. And I don't think Hiei's going to be showing up anytime soon. **

**Shuffle Queen: Sage: Yeah, there are four of us. You think I could ever be the same person as Shadowlord?**

**Turtle Lover: Ronin: Sage, do you enjoy making Shadowlord mad? Because you do a very good job. Anyway...yeah, Episode 13 will be fun. I'm looking forward to making fun of Master Asia.**

**---**

**-**

**Episode Two: Just What IS The American Dream?**

****

****

**Part One: Jingle Bells, Domon Smells...**

****

**-**

****

**--**

****

New York City, Neo America:

*Neo America's Gundam Maxter is paraded down Park Avenue, celebrating Chibodee Crocket's victory against Scud Gundam. The crowd cheers, hoping this is a sign of more victories to come.*

In a nearby bar:

Bartender: *cleaning bar vigorously* Must...get...clean...Must...rid bar...of chicken smells...

Domon: *watching parade on television* He sure is popular around here, isn't he?

Bartender: *soaking bar in disinfectant* Of course. He's going to fulfill the American Dream.

Domon: What's that?

Bartender: What's what?

Domon: The American Dream.

Bartender: What about it?

Domon: What is it?!

Bartender: What's what?

Domon: ...

Kid: Hiya, mister!

Domon: Aah! *cowers under stool*

Kid: *picks up stool* Mister?

Domon: Back, foul beast! *scrambles up onto the bar counter*

Bartender: Aw...I just sanitized that...

Kid: Mister, I just wanted to show you something...*holds up a poster advertising the boxing match Chibodee would be in that afternoon* 

Domon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- oh. Eh...right. *coughs* Sorry.

Bartender: Are you going to get down now?

Domon: *backs away nervously* Not until he leaves...

Later, outside:

Domon: Man, that kid is stalking me or something...*sniffs cloak* Hmm...chicken wings...

Mysterious Man: *drops out of a tree* Go to the boxing match!

Domon: AIEE...oh, it's just the creepy guy. What do you want?

Mysterious Man: You're here to fight Chibodee Crocket, right?

Domon: No, I'm here because Belchino said it was the only decent bar in Neo America.

Mysterious Man: *sighs* Why are you in New York?

Domon: Because Rain said so.

Mysterious Man: Do you enjoy irritating me, or is it an accidental side affect of being stupid?

Domon: Uh...hey!

Mysterious Man: Right. Go to the boxing match and fight Chibodee.

Domon: Why do I want to fight Chibodee?

Mysterious Man: Because Rain said so.

Domon: Good point. Okay!

Mysterious Man: And change your clothes. You smell like you crawled through food products.

A small office:

Douglas: Now, Chibodee-

Chibodee: Yep, that's me! Chibodee Crocket! The Champion!

Douglas: Eh...right...anyway...try not to do anything too...flashy.

Chibodee: Flashy? Me?

Grumman: Yeah...you tend to do flashy things.

Chibodee: *looks hurt* I do?

  
Douglas: Uh...yes, you do. And that's something we don't want right now.

Chibodee: Why?

Grumman: Neo Japan's Fighter has been sighted at a bar in the city, and we'd rather you not attract attention.

Chibodee: At a bar? Fun! Which one?

Douglas: I don't know...

Grumman: Chibodee, this guy defeated Michelo Chariot and his Neros Gundam.

Chibodee: The guy with the obsession with feet? Aw...I wanted to toast him...but I can handle this loser. I AM the Champion, after all! *gloats*

Grumman: *whispers to Douglas* So much for the not flashy idea...

Douglas: This is Chibodee. Is it possible for him to not be flashy?

Grumman: Good point. Hey, let's go get some chicken wings.

Chibodee: I AM the Champion!

At the boxing ring:

Announcer: It's the match of the century, folks! Who will be crowned the greatest boxer in Neo America?

Will it be Chibodee Crocket, the colony champion?! *the crowd cheers wildly* Or will it be the challenger, Carmela Conomy?!

*silence*

Random Conomy Fan: Yeah! Go Conomy- *is tackled by rabid Chibodee fangirls* Um...never mind...

Announcer: Conomy has already made his entrance, so now we await Chibodee's grand appearance! And here he is! Neo America's favorite New Yorker, Chibodee Crocket!

Chibodee: Yeah! I am the Champ! I will always be the Champ! Even if- *is thrown backwards by "Conomy's" punch* -even if I get knocked on my butt...what was that for?! The match hasn't started!

Domon: *yanks off Conomy's robe* Chibodee Crocket, I challenge you to a Gundam Fight! 

Chibodee: You cheater! *swings wildly at Domon* I'll shut you up!

Domon: Aah! *flees* It's a crazed boxer! Run for your lives!

Chibodee: Hey! *stands* Get back here! I'm not done with you yet!

Mysterious Man: *sitting next to the now-pummeled Conomy fan* Domon can be so stupid...pass the popcorn, please.

Conomy Fan: Go...Conomy? *is tackled* ...

Mysterious Man: *climbs over the Chibodee fanatics piled on top of the foolish fan* Time to go save Domon's hide again...good luck with your fangirl problem.

Fan: *muffled* Help...

Ringside:

Grumman: *munching chicken wings* Wow. Security here is pathetic.

Douglas: Yeah...hey! Let's assassinate someone! Like that Gundam Fighter!

Grumman: But first let's assassinate someone else! *points at a random passerby, who starts to look very nervous* Like him! We're from the Department of Defense! We wear suits! And ties! We can handle this!

Douglas: Yeah! *reaches for the bowl of chicken wings*

Grumman: Hey! Mine!

---

Ronin: We are so going to insult the Chibodee fans...either that, or someone from the DoD will have us arrested.

Sage: Yeah. The Department of Defense has nothing better to do than read fanfiction.

Ronin: Well...you never know...


End file.
